Tonight, tonight

Somewhere deep in the heart of Mississippi, Brett Favre kicks himself tonight. If only he or his agents thought of "The Decision" before LeBron James. Favre could do this thing every year for his retirement decision! "The Decision: Year 8! This time, it's final... er, maybe" Really now, a one hour special with an hour SportsCenter special leading up to The Decision and another hour afterward devoted to his 15 second decision! And damn me, I'm watching it!

I get it. LBJ is the biggest celebrity in basketball. He's a phenomenal player. He hasn't won anything other than individual accolades yet, but he's been the face of the league for 5 years and has been basketball royalty since he was 14. Really, this sort of self-aggrandization is inherent in him. But it's not all his fault. Writers, fans, and players alike have seen this moment coming for over 3 years. We drooled over it, dreamed about our team being The Chosen One, and built this ugliness from the ground up. Sure, many people will say they're disgusted with this product, but they did little to change the inevitability of its creation. Watching "The Decision" is like rubbernecking a car crash, a nasty fisfight, or shock video. This is sports porn, and few people can turn their heads away from it. Worst of all, LBJ and his camp are giving much [all?] of the profits from his press conference to the Boys and Girls Club of America. Now I'm really conflicted! I know his intentions aren't so pure, but he's using his celebrity for actual good. This makes it feel like A-Rod promising a dying kid a home run at Yankee Stadium and delivering. It's 99% ego and 1% altruism. But that charity carries a lot of weight, and LBJ certainly hasn't advertised that little nugget of generosity.

In 15 minutes, LeBron will make his choice. If he chooses anywhere but Cleveland, a city will be utterly decimated. Cleveland has very little going for it economically, athletically, and, unfortunately, socially. Miami, New York, Chicago, and New Jersey all seemingly mortgaged their futures for the thread of a possibility that they might land his Highness, but they can recover. In Cleveland, I foresee flipped cars, burning couches, and crying children. Maybe LeBron thought that the profits he'll get from this and hand over to the BGA is worth the spectacle, yet his ego must be so inflated that it blinds his vision. This circus could rip the collective heart out of Cleveland. He won't be able to see it happen.